I am pissed off at the moment.  I just got finished explaining to my computer how I wished it wasn’t just an unthinking unfeeling machine and had human feelings so I could hurt them.  It crashes all the time and I just lost what I thought was a good start on a new blog.  I will start over again.  What can you do?  I could continue to verbally express my rage to a out of date box with lights in a dark empty room, but that only gets one just so far I find.  I win anyway, I am a human, the computer still only has a floppy disc drive.

Wierd shit went down today.  Shit that relates directly to the shit I was telling you yesterday.  I really have no cool lead into this, I just have to spill it.

When I go on my trip down south I will be joined by a Chinese stooge. 

Oh yes, you heard right, do not adjust your moniter (we control the vertical, we control the horizontal) yes I have been given a tail.  Based on a general consensus that I am non-Chinese speaking, and therfore so stupid I can’t manage the task of being in a GROUP TOUR, the school I work for has assigned me my very own mole, a shadow, a spy,….a nanny.

I woke up to the phone ringing.  I was having a vivid dream that I was back in the house which I lived in when I was young on starfire, only my buddy Adam owned it now, and the jerk next door who used to complain and holler at my dad about the noise when I would throw crazy all hours parties as a teen was yelling at us because he lost his cat and thought it was our fault.  and so Rick James showed up.  and Adam and I and Rick James all tried to explain to my neighbor why the Dave Chappelle episode “I’m Rick James bitch!”  was so funny.  He just didn’t get it.

And so the phone rang.

It was May.  She told me that the police station was done with my paper work, remember I made some comment in the blog yesterday about that.  Well she was right, they were ready today.  She also said that there was good news.  She said that a 21 year old student would be traveling with me on my trip. 

you do what now???

Yeah, he needs to practice his English, she reasoned, and this way I won’t get lost.

I had previously explained to May that I could see doing the group tour thing, but if there was ever somewhere I wanted to go and they didn’t or vise versa, if they had on their itenariy something that seemed to me to be a waste of time, in that event I would just go off and do my own thing.  This would all be dependant on my being able to pull said excusion off with some ease and certainty, not heading off into the rainforest with a compass and a machette. May would not hear any of it.  She kept telling me how I made her worry, that she was sooooo worried about me.  Well I guess she talked to her boss and they saw fit to give me a stooge.

Remember that it is a group tour, I really can’t say one way or another who else goes.  And I have met the kid, he really seems nice. He is 21 and looking to go to grad school in the US, New Jersey maybe.  He came by my place today, and we looked at the map and at the plan and we got jazzed about the trip.  He told me that we will be able to hit Chinese new year in a particularly pretty place, I forgot the name and I am really sorry about that blog believers.  It will be nice to have someone to travel with the whole way.  Especially someone who speaks english that I can pass the time talking to.  And yes, I think that he will cut down on the stress of the train station and what not.  He told me about one place in the Yennan where there was a bar on the lake surrounded by hills like mountains where you could sit outside and sip beer and watch the sunset.  He had trouble finding the word for sunset, but by the time he got it I was sold.

  I didn’t ask but I think that their is a chance he might be getting a discount or even free trip out of this, due to his statis as a stooge, so good for him.  The problem is as cool as this kid is he is essentially there to keep me in line.  I am sure he has strict orders to follow my every move.  Shit, he was in my place today, mabe he planted a bug!

But here is my point.  I have spent money on this junket and I will not do anything I don’t feel like doing.  I don’t have to do a damn thing, I am on vacation.  So you will see many pictures of me on my trip but you will not see one of me in the hat.  I promise to do everything in my power to do exactly what I want to do on this trip, while being very nice at the same time.  I am not looking for a fight with the stooge or a tour guide, I just will not follow orders while on vacation.  Oh, and I promise not to get lost.

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